Kelly: is it bad that when I'm done with a doll or an animal, I wanna lay it on a table, lift it up into the night sky, watch it get struck by lightning which would then send me into an insane fit of laughter while yelling, "IT'S ALIVE"?
Kelly: ...I'll take your silence as a yes.
Matt: yes, just yes
Kelly: how did the interview go?
Matt: pretty good actually
Matt: got that job
Matt: they're making me an offer in 2 weeks
Kelly: woo!
Kelly: think you'll take it?
Matt: Nope
Kelly: so, speaking of mom killing people...
Matt: ?
Kelly: she doesn't know about Daniel *cough*
Matt: ooooh
Matt: you're domed
Kelly: .......I'm domed? I'm protected from the rain?
Kelly: Shayne is not my boyfriend.
Kelly: Because unless i missed something Shayne does not have a penis.
Matt: isn't she Kelly? You and your lesbian crochet orgies
Matt: so did you tell her about my "inner black woman"?
Kelly: .......It might have come up
Matt: I am both disgusted and confused
Kelly: argh, I am cutting myself at 3 am
Kelly: .....c...cutting myself off.
Matt: yeah good idea
Matt: cut yourself
Matt: you just can't like a guy unless he's a bastard to you
Kelly: well I pictured you looking at it and saying, "you know I have a chess set right?"
Matt: 3 things
Matt: 1) you can never have too many chess sets
Matt: 2) it's made for travel
Matt: 3) holy shit that is just fucking awesome
Kelly: but I've decided if that really bothers you, you're fruitier than a box of fruity pebbles.
Kelly: and you have bigger issues.
Matt: i have many fruity pebbles issues
Matt: damn roommates always rainbowing up the place
Kelly: her nipples look like torpedos.
Matt: they are
Matt: she also fights the war on terror
Kelly: So, yes.....I must admit.....
Kelly: penguins are SLIGHTLY better than otters.
Matt: you're drunk aren't you?
Kelly: Matt, how do I change my life?
Matt: worship the penguin
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